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Being dumped by your girlfriend can feel like the end of the world for many guys. It’s almost an automatic reaction, where being dumped is about feeling bad… and this is where the answer is!
Nothing good is associated with being dumped by your girlfriend. Instead, being dumped is all about:
- feeling lonely
- feeling sad
- feeling lost
- having nobody to love
Whilst some or all of the above may be true, at least for the short term, the real issue stems from the fact that all of the above (negative points) are taken for granted. In short, if your girlfriend dumps you, you ASSUME that it’s time to feel bad. You don’t question it, you just do it. And how do you know when to stop feeling dumped? You don’t…
Instead, stop and question the value of this mindset. Mourning the loss of a girlfriend or feeling low in self-esteem after being dumped by her are natural states and have value in themselves (introspection, ‘learning’ from mistakes… and so on) but they are only one side of the outcome. What about the positive side of being dumped?
Have you ever stopped to think what is good about being dumped by a girlfriend? If not, then ask yourself why not.
Being dumped, to start with has negative connotations that target your self-esteem (the words ‘being dumped’ make you feel less valuable, less worthy, even unwanted). So change the word. You probably decided yourself that she dumped you – nobody chose those words for you. Not only are you putting a negative label on the event, but you’re buying into the ideology that you should now feel bad and depressed.
Your relationship ended. Period. The reason is not important right now: what is, is changing the words that you use to describe the event.
So your relationship is over. Now start to think about how this can be of benefit. What couldn’t you do when you were in a relationship that you can do now, and that you would enjoy? What does being single mean right now to you:
- a new beginning?
- more parties?
- staying out late?
- not having to answer to anybody?
- doing what you want, when you want?
Sure, being in the right relationship is a fantastic experience, but if this is not the case right now, then stop brooding about how wonderful it is, or it could be, and concentrate instead on finding the positives of your particular situation right now – i.e. being single.
The list is endless when it comes to finding positives, if only you apply yourself to the task.
Check Out J Riley’s Breakup Book
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