How to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend that has Moved On (2020)

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So your ex girlfriend has moved on. And you haven’t…

You and I both know that this is a problem with only one loser: you.

I’ve been there, done that, and I made it my mission to figure out how to get over an ex girlfriend that has moved on – regardless of who it is and regardless of how deeply your breakup may have hurt you.

So let’s you and I sit down for a session, and let me show you what needs to be done, so you can get clear.

In summary:

Getting over an ex girlfriend that has moved on requires accepting the fact that your ex is not under your control. What she does or doesn’t do is not your business. You may also need to ask yourself why you’re obsessing over her after your relationship is over. This is not emotionally mature, nor healthy. The longer those feelings are left to fester, the longer the recovery period will be.

But, as they say, the devil is in the details, so let’s dive deeper.

The secret, as you’ll soon see, is understanding where you’re at right now, what you need to do and why you need to do it.

That may sound simple, but hang in here with me because I’m going to dive deeper into each thing and connect the dots for you.


If you need a step by step guide, I cover all this and more in my book How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend. Available in Amazon US and Amazon UK.

Its like this…

Sometimes a little work needs to be done on the emotional baggage that many carry after a relationship breakup.

I’ll show you how to quickly determine how ready you are and whether you need to address some inner issues first.

I will also give you the most important next step once you decide you’re ready to get this nailed.

By the end of this article you’ll be clear on how to move on from your ex once and for all.

Ok, let’s start by answering real questions from people in this predicament:

My exgirlfriend moved on so quickly, it hurts. How do you move on from a relationship when that happens?

The first issue here is that you feel hurt by what somebody else is experiencing. In other words, your ex is happy and you’re suffering. This is something you need to fix straight away.

The real answer to how do you move on is that it doesn’t happen easily or by chance. In other words: it doesn’t just happen without your input. Change happens by making changes. The trick is knowing what changes to make, when and why

I say when because there’s a certain order to the things you need to do if you want to get over her in an efficient way. 

One reason for some men struggling with this process and taking a long time to get over an ex is that they leave it to guesswork and end up doing only some of the things required, and not in any order.

how to get over an ex girlfriend that has moved on

Don’t be that guy.

Let’s get one thing clear: tips to get over your ex are not enough. If you’re struggling to get a handle on this after weeks, months or years, then you already know deep down that searching for tips is a waste of your time. 

If you’re finding it hard to move on, then you also know that if you keep doing the same things you’ve been doing up to now, that’s not going to help. Change is needed. Period. You cannot continue living like this.

So making changes is required. We can’t just hope that things improve. 

Now let’s find out what those changes actually are.

What if my ex moved on after a month? How do I let go of the past and move on?

Again, the common thread here is that you’re focusing on what somebody else is doing. You can’t control other people, you can only control you, so focus on you.

Now, when it comes to letting go of the past, that’s where we start to get a little bit more specific, and that is about you moving on. Good. You and your actions are things you control, and the past is what we want to move on from.

Now, let me put something to you that you may not find so pleasing…

You are the reason you’re not moving on from the past.

The fact that you’re asking how to let go of an ex who has moved on means that you’re holding on to the past and creating an impossible situation from which you can’t recover because you’re making the fact that she moved on the condition.

Let me explain what I mean: if you ask how do I let go of an ex, then there is a process you can follow to move on. If, on the other hand, you ask how do I get over an ex that has moved on then the condition becomes the fact that she moved on, and you can’t control or change that. She has already moved on.

Besides, what has her moving on got to do with you getting over the past?

As I say, if you’re asking this question, then you need to reframe it, because as long as you think this way, you are the reason you’re stuck in the past.

Absorb this for a moment. Your ex is not physically stopping you from doing anything. You are. So your first question should be why is it taking so long to get over her? What is it that you are hanging on to? And why?

If you feel somehow cheated because she has moved on before you, then it’s likely that you hoped somewhere in the back of your mind that you would somehow be able to step back to your previous life at some point. 

If this is the case, then you need to accept that you have not yet taken the time to get clarity on what you want. Only then you can determine what needs to happen next.

So ask yourself that question again: why are you still hanging around? What are you actually waiting for? And why are you even looking for signs that your ex girlfriend has moved on?

I’ve even seen breakup advice for men that discusses what signs to look for to know that an ex has moved on. WTF? It’s over!

Ok, moving on…

Here’s another question that shows the wrong mindset:

My ex moved on and is happy. What do I do?

This is probably the unhealthiest question you can ask. Emotionally unhealthy that is. Somebody else’s happiness has nothing to do with you. Your happiness is your concern, not your previous partner’s.

Thinking like this will never allow you to move on and will eventually destroy your character. Don’t be the pitiful guy who is still whining about his ex months after they parted ways.

Instead, focus on attaining happiness for yourself.

So let’s talk about actually getting over her.

When it comes to moving on, some guys are unable to get over an ex girlfriend for one or more of the following reasons:

  1. they have no actual plan to get over their ex girlfriends, so they do nothing
  2. they hang on to the past, glorifying the good times and forgetting the bad times

Step 1 (having a plan) is easy. Step 2 needs working on.

So let’s get to it.

How to know if you’re ready to move on from the past

The first thing to do is to assess where you’re at right now. Put simply: if you have some baggage to deal with, then you’re not ready to move until you deal with that baggage.

Everybody’s baggage is different. Yours may be difficult to face right now. You may even feel like you’re in a depression. You’ll certainly feel insecurity and a lack of purpose. I get it. Nobody said this was an easy conversation to have, but it’s one that must be had (with yourself).

Here’s what I suggest: listen to what you think. What you think and how you ask questions will tell you whether you’re ready to move on from your past or not. 

You should be asking questions like:

  • what’s the easiest way to get over an ex girlfriend?
  • what’s the quickest way to get over an ex girlfriend?
  • how do I get over my ex for good?

Those are all examples of action questions. This kind of question means you’re ready; you’re asking for the formula, the steps, the roadmap. 

If you’ve had enough of feeling completely overwhelmed, and you just want the plan, then the Breakup Book will give you that plan: it’s a 7 step systematic approach designed to help you on the way to moving on from the past.

If you have the time, then the best time to start the process of moving on with your life is now. You deserve happiness and there are plenty of women out there who you can meet when you’re ready to face people again. But to rebuild those qualities that will help you attract new people to your life (as well as old friends), you need to first take some time out and start thinking about how to bring about that change.

Watch this video and heed the advice:

How to get over your ex being with someone else

If you think you’re ready to move on, then hit the free training that shows you the very first thing you need to do to get over your ex girlfriend.

What if you still love your ex or you feel jealous or angry that she’s moved on?

If this is where you are, then this is precisely the reason why you’re not ready to move on. You are hanging on to the past.

The real issue is you. You have emotional issues that you need to overcome. The reality is that what your ex does or doesn’t do has nothing to do with you. So why are you stressing over it? She doesn’t belong to you and you don’t own her, therefore you have no business suffering over what she does or doesn’t do.

The problem is you and you need to address this by coming to grips with reality. Do this and do it quickly because it will only harm you in the long term. You need to become emotionally mature and stable in order to disengage, and the first step to that is to understand fully that you do not own another person.

As in the above step, listen to how you think. If you’re asking questions like the ones below, then you know you have an issue to fix within yourself:

  • will I ever get over my ex girlfriend?
  • I really need to get over my ex girlfriend
  • I’m struggling to get over my ex

The video below deals with this state of mind:

I Need to get over my ex (video):

You should by now start to see that the way you think is actually a reflection of your state of mind. You’re either acting like somebody with the confidence to move forward, or like a victim. Avoid becoming a victim, because this unattractive trait will keep you right where you are: in breakup hell.

But what if you’ve been trying to get over your ex girlfriend for a long time?

I often come across questions like this:

  • can’t get over my ex girlfriend after 6 months…
  • can’t get over my ex girlfriend after 1 year…
  • can’t get over my ex girlfriend after 2 years…
  • etc…

Sometimes I see as much as 5 years. This is something that needs to be addressed immediately. Somebody who has been struggling to get over an ex for a long time is somebody who has probably done very little other than mope. This may sound harsh if this is you, but you need to ask yourself what you’ve actually done to fix this and answer honestly.

My first question would be: how much have you invested (time or money) on getting this fixed? If somebody is offended by that question, then the reality is that they don’t want to help themselves and they care very little about their well-being. Investing in a book, a course, even a psychiatrist, costs of course, but how much are 5 years of your life worth?

A book – any book, not just mine! – is usually the price of 2 or 3 coffees. If you’re struggling with something for this long and you have the choice of buying a shortcut then you owe it to yourself to do so in order to get back on track with your life.

If you prefer not to, then be prepared to invest your time to piece everything together. Nothing is free: you either spend time or money. Not spending either will get you nowhere fast.

This video will help:

How to Let go of Your Ex

Ok, let’s take a recap:

Putting it all into context

Recovering from a broken relationship and moving on when your previous partner has already moved on can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. Your own ‘thick skin’ determines a lot how well you will cope with this, as well as your particular circumstances.

In this article, I’ve shown you how to assess where you’re at, whether you’re actually ready to move on, or whether you have some work to do getting your house in order, by clearing up some emotional baggage.

In either case, The Breakup Book gives you an actionable 7 step plan you can follow easily and without having to think. It’s a ‘join the dots’ approach.

Stay strong.