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How to mend a broken heart: there are ways to mend a broken heart that can seem elusive at first, especially if you just broke up with your partner and you’re feeling down, sorry for yourself etc.
Following a breakup you are at your most vulnerable – especially if your feelings are in turmoil. This is a hard time where key decisions are hard enough to make. Let’s face it: the broken-hearted are not known for their logical approach and their excellent decision-making. But this is not a bad thing – the only thing is not knowing that this is a bad time to make decisions. If you accept that you’re feeling down, heart-broken etc then you can avoid making many mistakes which may cost you time, effort, money and reputation.
So the first step is acceptance. Accept that you are broken-hearted. There is no shame in this (get rid of this idea). It happens to most people at one point or another, and there’s a lot of people around… You can pretend you’re fine on the outside, but you can’t lie to yourself, so don’t try to.
Once you’re comfortable with the idea, you can start concentrating on the real solution: mending a broken heart. Think of it like trying to help an alcoholic: if they don’t accept they have a problem, how can they start to work on a solution?
Now that we’re focusing on healing from the broken heart, we can look at the next points.
Distance is key. It is immensely helpful to be able to separate yourself from the matter – to step aside from the issue for a brief period of time so you can view things without attachment. Shed your feelings if you like, and put them aside and look at things from a colder fresh angle to see what you can learn.
Not all broken hearts come about in the same way: some may be the result of a failed relationship, others may be the result of circumstance (maybe your sweetheart had to go away, got a job transfer, had to go study far away etc…) so it’s very hard to prescribe a universal solution to this issue.
You will need to look at your own particular circumstances to decide how you can implement the solution that helps you most.
In nearly all cases however, distancing yourself from the dilemma is always helpful. If it was a breakup that you’re dealing with, then see things from your ex partner’s eyes for a moment; consider ‘why’ things happened in the way they did. You will almost always find fault with you to some degree or another.
But mending a broken heart is not about finding blame and pointing fingers – it’s about distancing yourself and healing.
Once you distance yourself mentally, you can start to do the same physically. If you have difficulty distancing yourself mentally, try reading how to stop thinking about your ex and also be glad it’s over with your ex to help you getting over this issue.
Use common sense when it comes to distancing yourself from your ex.
- Avoid old haunts where your ex may frequent
- Generally avoid your ex partner
- Don’t drive past your ex’s home
- Just don’t be anywhere near if you can help it
Mending your heart requires time. You have some control over the quality of that time: make sure it’s high quality time, where you are surrounded by yourself or alone, doing the things you enjoy. Don’t put yourself in the path of your ex partner: you’ll create nothing but stress for yourself and you will be doing everything you can to prevent emotional healing – instead, you’ll be continually opening those old wounds by seeing your ex. For most people, following a split, seeing their ex partners can be a step back – a revival of the hurt. While you don’t have any real control of where your ex decides to hang out, you do on the other hand have control of where YOU hang out, so use your common sense and avoid the aforementioned places and any other place which may lead to a potential encounter with your ex.
Check Out J Riley’s Breakup Book
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