Should you get back together?

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The question of getting back together again after a split up seems to be a popular one. There is a post dealing with this here: getting back together after a breakup.

Rather than re-addressed this issue (you can just read the above post) I will add a real example for you to consider.

The post in the above link poses the question: can you forgive somebody for something? If you can’t, then getting back together may not be a great idea, especially if you’re going to be resentful and negative. You have to ask yourself: what would be the point? It’s better to be alone and happy (to a degree) than to be in a relationship and unhappy.

This example I’m going to set out below is based on a real situation.

Imagine discovering that your girlfriend or boyfriend cheats on you at the office Christmas party. Something untoward happened when the drinks were flowing and you are the casualty.

You split up and spend some time dealing with this. It’s not easy: you have to get over the fact that your ex cheated on you. This may cause you self-esteem issues amongst other things.

Eventually, after a period of time, you start to miss your ex, or you have some contact with your ex and you seem to be getting along fine. You start to wonder: should you get back together?

It seems that you have both been wondering the same thing, and so, after some discussion and mutual agreement you and your ex decide to get back together again.

As you get back into your relationship there are a few ground rules to observe – maybe new ground rules – and a few promises are made.

So you’re back, sitting in your favourite chair and enjoying your relationship. You have managed to forgive your ex, at least enough to get on with it.

And before you know it, it’s Christmas again.

And with Christmas comes the Christmas party.

How do you feel? This may or may not be the telling test for you. Can you let go of what happened, or are the events of the previous Christmas going to come bouncing back and filling your head up with dread and remorse?

Of course, you may not be able to answer this one to you are in that situation. But forewarned is forearmed…

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