What if I see my ex?

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pixelscaredOne common ‘fear’ I always come across from somebody who has recently broken up is the question: what if I see my ex?

My answer to this tends to be: yes. What if you see your ex?

Whilst this is rational thought for somebody who has recently broken up with their partner, it is nonetheless a completely useless one.

If you live in the same town or you frequent places where you know your ex also treads, then there is a chance that you will indeed come across your ex at some point. However this may not happen for a long time. And even if it happened next week, it may not happen again for six months after that.

So my point is: why worry about this?

Think about it in this way: you just broke up your relationship, and now you start worrying that you may see your ex whilst you’re out shopping, as you both shop in the same place. This is a rational thought, so it’s pretty natural for you to think it in the first place.

Now let’s say that, just as you thought, you do bump into your ex in six months from now. Well, you could say that you were right your thinking, because you did.

However the point here is that all the times during the six months that you spent living with the thought about bumping into your ex were not particularly well spent. This is not particularly a relaxing thought: it’s stress-based.

Therefore you spent time during the six months stressing whether you may or may not bump into your ex.

Although you did bump into your ex, this didn’t happen until six months after you broke up, so in reality you spend a lot of time thinking about something that caused you stress, probably for many hours when you add all the time together, when you could have been thinking about something else instead.

So here’s what to do: except that you may bump into your ex at some point and then forget about it.

Easy, I know, but nobody said it had to be complicated.